Why Do People Get Fat?

Why Do People Get Fat

and Stay Fat?

It has been shown that people who overeat and are consequently overweight do not overeat because of nutritional requirements. Both the quantity and the quality of the foods most overweight people eat are a testament to that conclusion.

Nobody ever got fat because he over-ate sprouts, asparagus or tofu. Unless they are suffering from a genetic defect or chemical imbalance, people who eat beyond their nutritional requirements do so because they are using their foods of choice to fill an otherwise insatiable emotional “hole” in their psyches. They are assuaging with their chosen “comfort foods” the feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, frustration and anxiety triggered by the stresses they are subject to in their daily lives.

But even worse than the source of the craving to overeat, or even the choice of the food that is used to comfort themselves, is the attitude with which they overeat. Because when they indulge themselves, they put themselves in a classic double-bind situation. They crave food as much as a substance abuser craves his drug of choice, but when they succumb to the craving and indulge their addiction, they do so with a sense of guilt and anxiety, which contaminates any anticipated pleasure their chosen indulgence was expected to afford them.

So our hypothetical “fat person”, while eating his ice cream, does not truly enjoy it. All the while a fat person eats ice cream he sends himself the messages: “This is bad for me”; “I shouldn’t be doing this”; “This is bad for my body”; “I am bad because I am doing this”; and dozens of other similar “self-talk” messages. Hence derives the oxymoronic term “guilty pleasure”. And so, the fat person never gets to enjoy the sweetness of the ice cream, because he is poisoning his body not so much with the ice cream as with the negative messages attached to the idea of eating the ice cream. Knowing that ice cream is supposed to be enjoyable and sweet he keeps eating it trying to get the anticipated “hit”, but the hit never comes.

Likewise when a fat person eats healthful food he is also sending himself negative messages, messages of frustration, resistance and self-hatred: “this food is punishment because I am overweight or because I ate ice cream.” So whether he is eating healthful OR unhealthful foods, he is steeping himself in negativity. And so the syndrome persists, repeating itself ad infinitum or perhaps more accurately ad nauseam. The fat person has the addict’s dilemma, the victim of a vicious cycle. All food is “poisoned” for the person who accompanies his repast with a not-so-fine “whine”.

I am convinced that even following healthful dietary recommendations is not the most important aspect of healthful nutritional practices. More important than WHAT we eat is HOW we eat. Do we eat our food, our meals, with a sense of enjoyment, ease and gratitude? Or do we eat with a sense of anxiety, guilt and impatience?

There is a way out of this mental and emotional trap. It is mindfulness. It is seeing what our mind is doing and choosing to release any resistance or negativity that might be contaminating our consciousness. Our ATTITUDE about our diet can be just as important, if not more so, than the actual foods that we eat. An old Zen proverb states: "When sitting, just sit. When walking, just walk. Above all, don't wobble." Don't "wobble" by injecting doubt or worry into what you're doing. If you're going to eat ice cream, just eat it and enjoy it. Or don't eat it. But don't eat it with guilt and anxiety, because that negativity detrimentally affects your entire metabolic system much more than any of the ingredients of ice cream possibly could. That is why the best dietary advice I have ever heard is summed up in a humorous little poem:

“It is better to eat franks and beer

With thanks and cheer

Than to eat sprouts and bread

With doubts and dread.”

Yes, do your best to avoid the foods that are known to be harmful or to promote obesity, and to include those known to be beneficial. But more importantly, always do your best to keep a cheerful, thankful heart and mind regardless of what you are eating, being fully present in the joy of what you are doing right in that moment.